Why Atheists are Stupid (and so is your face)

There is a movement among atheists to connect their movement to science, yet none of the people involved seem to understand the idea of science.

Here is another case where we are going to have to define our terms before we dive headlong into the flood again.  For the intents of this conversation, we’re going to define Atheism as someone who is sure there is/are no God(s).  It seems every time that this discussion comes up someone has to rush out and explain how words work.  They say, “Well actually, theist means one who believes god exists and prays to him so anyone who doesn’t is by default an A-THEIST.”  If you are that guy and you happen to be reading this, you should know that everyone hates you.  I don’t mean that everyone on the other side hates you because that’s such a huge hit on their argument, I mean everyone.  You’re doing 3 annoying things simultaneously.  You’re doing the WELL ACTUALLY, thing about shit no one cares about, you’re derailing a conversation, and on top of it you’re correcting someone while being wrong at the same time.  No one will ever care about your shitty little nugget of shit.  Even you didn’t care about it, not in the abstract sense you didn’t.  You just latched on to it when someone else said it because it was something you could repeat and sound “smart” because you know what a fucking word means.  Everyone hates you.  I hope you kill yourself.  If there was a way to prove that the babies that Kermit Gosnell delivered then killed with scissors were going to grow up and do that, no jury would have convicted him.

And with that bullshit out of the way…

Atheism is a stupid and illogical position.  It can never be scientifically proven that god doesn’t exist.  Opposing an illogical position isn’t automatically logical.  This is where most internet atheists will point out that you can’t prove unicorns don’t exist and that’s another example of why atheists are usually stupid assholes.  The reason why that’s a dumb argument is that it is provable that unicorns don’t exist if, in fact, someone wanted to prove that badly enough to plunge the whole Earth into nuclear winter and freeze the planet to check for them.  To imply that belief in a divine creator is as foolish as belief in an imaginary kind of horse that would be frequently spotted prancing about on rainbows is disingenuous at best.

Therefore to believe there definitely IS NOT a god or a higher being of any kind, is not only arrogant and foolish, but requires faith as well.  Faith in nothing is just as illogical as faith in something.  The difference is that having faith in non existence while bashing someone for having faith in something is assholish hypocrisy.  So you don’t believe in any higher powers.  That’s fine just like it’s fine to believe that the universe came into being because some being willed it, but pretending you’ve discovered this via the scientific method is a lie, and not a very clever one.

Think about this for a moment, the super scientists of pretty much every atheist community on the internet were exposed as dumbasses by ICP.  They ask the question, “Fucking magnets, how do they work?” Some people thought it was funny to ask such a question in such a manner and made fun of it.  People jumped on it and the fat one said this to the press when asked about the internet sensation that was miracles, “I know this sounds crazy, but I’m being as honest as I can: We planned all this out.”

A novelty act from the 90’s springboards itself back into relevance by trolling internet atheists while r/atheism thinks they are the ones making the joke, while being the joke.


Furthermore, and the embarrassing part, no one knows how fucking magnets work.  I mean there are some theories out there about ferromagnetism that make a lot of sense, but they rely on other ideas in quantum mechanics that may or may not be reliable.  The atheist crew descended on this like stupid locusts and gave them all the hype they wanted while declaring themselves to be the super smart because they can DESCRIBE a magnet.  Describing something isn’t understanding how it works.  People said “HA HA AH POLAR ATTRACTION YOU STUPID SHITS” but saying opposites attract and likes repel is just describing what a magnet is, not how it works.  It’s like saying you know how a car runs and then saying it has a steering wheel, 4 tires, and 2 pedals that interact.  That’s right, but you’re describing something, not explaining it.  To the atheists out there proselytizing to the internet, when your movement is getting trolled by idiots who paint their faces like clowns, you might want to consider closing shop.

Now I know that the people who thought they knew how magnets worked still do, because it’s damned near impossible to convince an idiot they don’t know something, but let’s continue playing.  This is a randomly selected part of the quantum formula that is the basis of the hypothesis on ferromagnetism.  This is the dumbed down version.  Anyone who made fun of ICP for the magnets thing and knows where this fits in is excused from the mocking I am dishing out:

In short:


The atheists found on the internet are idiots, and the reason I have issue with them is they constantly proselytize.  Atheists on the internet proselytize  more than any other faith based belief system, and they do it just to be obnoxious and unpleasant.  When some misguided member of an Abrahamic religion tries to proselytize to me they believe they are attempting to save my immortal soul.  Whether they are right or not is debatable, but from their point of view it’s something that must be done.  What the hell are atheists doing when they do the same?  Trying to keep people from missing east coast football games?  Where is the motivation?

Other talking points internet atheists have are equally stupid.  They claim all wars ever were about religion.  There hasn’t been a large war over religion I can think of.  I mean there were probably a few, but none of the big ones.  The big wars are always about there was some group of people and they saw another group of people and the first group was pretty sure they could take that shit away.  Sometimes it’s money, sometimes power, usually land, but it’s about taking away shit from other people.  Back in the old days they told the foot soldiers it was about religion, but that’s because they were ignorant and illiterate and were going to die at 32 of infection anyway.  Anyone who believes it was about religion and not taking away the shit from the other people is as ignorant as the illiterate dark age foot soldiers.

Another thing the atheists like to claim is that Christianity stifled science, when in actuality the only reason all of the ancient science, math, chemistry et al. made it through the dark ages was because it was protected and guarded by Christian monks.  A monk named Gregor Mendel came up with genetic theory.  Another famous Christian was Charles Darwin.  Darwin while writing The Origin of the Species, was a Christian trying to explain how animals find their way to a more perfect state of being as intended by the god described by St Augustine.  Most of the types I am describing also are super into Darwin.  This can be noted by the bumper stickers that are of the dinosaur eating the truth fish eating the darwin fish eating the Jesus fish, but what these people don’t realize is that Darwin was wrong about everything.  All modern science indicates that species don’t change slowly over time.  It’s all wrong.  I’ve actually seen a Darwin fish eating the Jesus fish on the same car as a COEXIST sticker and that’s why people hate atheists.

It’s easy to hate shitty idiocy trying to pass itself off as science, see also “I fucking love science”  I clicked on that two days ago to see what the fuss was about, and the two most prominent things on the page was a link selling T Shirts and this:  

Because knowing that penguins and tuxedos both exist is indicative of the scientific method

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5 Responses to Why Atheists are Stupid (and so is your face)

  1. I enjoyed reading this…because you say in words what I often find myself thinking when reading posts by most “internet” atheists. I often wonder why they simply repeat each other without taking the time to actually research their position. I.E. the “Jesus myths” arguments. It really only takes a few moments of research to realize that this argument is lame and quite an exaggeration of alleged similarities to make their point.
    I find use of the terms “intellectual dishonesty” and “empirical evidence” equally annoying. To position themselves as arguing from an intellectually superior position is laughable.
    Admittedly I am a snob but the only honest statement in debates about origins is “I don’t know, but I prefer to think…..”
    Good post.

  2. laz toth says:

    atheists rely on scientific facts while christians trust god

  3. The One Who Put You In Your Place says:


    Yeah, no. You’re just another hateful person who got butthurt at everything in the world, so you decided that you could try to let out your anger by “expressing” yourself over a computer. Not everyone thinks like you, and obviously not everyone agrees with you. Or in this case, most wouldn’t agree with you. There’s a certain phrase that’s been floating around in the world for years now. It’s called “deal with it.”

    Have a nice day now. 🙂

    • clintiskeen says:

      The meaningless “edgy” bullshit cliche to normal human communication ratio is off the charts here.

      The point, which was hardly concealed in a great mist of satire, because I wasn’t even satirizing anything, was that bigotry is bad, no matter whom it comes from. Keep defending bigotry and the practice of being smug and shitty to other people while simultaneously believing in something that’s inherently un-provable.

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